The Binoculars by Dinshaw Patel (2010 for Toronto Star & CBC)
As Lieutenant Arthur Warren tried to relax in his armchair, the low pitched hum of the air-conditioning unit was an irritant to the usual tranquil atmosphere in his quarters. By now the room had sufficiently cooled down for him to switch it off and start listening to the tape of the morning’s proceedings. Ever since it had ended, his mind kept regurgitating over Buddhu’s interrogation. Though Warren Warren
“Buddhu, what is your full name?”
“Buddhu.”
“But what is your family name? Everyone has two names.”
“My name is only Buddhu. You cannot have a family name if you do not have a family.”
“You do not remember any mother or father or brother or sister? What about far away relatives like an uncle?”
“No.”
“How old are you?”
“I tried to do some calculations and I remember seven Eid ul-fitrs because on each Eid ul-Fitr I was always lucky to get a new set of clothes which I wore till the next Eid ul-Fitr. And, the old ones I tore and stitched into sleep covers so by the time I am very old, the winter wont feel that cold,” he said with a smile.
“Ok, now Buddhu tell us everything about yourself right from the beginning. Whatever you remember - with all the names of the people and places.”
“When I was very, very small when I remember my first Eid ul-Fitr, I was a cleaning boy at this big home for with many boys in Baghlan. I spent three Eid ul-Fitrs there and then one day I ran away from there and never returned. It took me a long time, but I walked to Kabul
“Just stop. Why did you run away?”
“The old man running the house was good to me and I was given daily meals, but the older boys kept hurting me a lot.”
“What did they do?”
“The house had a rule, the elder boys with beards slept with the younger ones without any hair on their face. I was always Usman’s partner, but then he lost a bet and he had to share me with Akboo whose partner had died recently. One night they hurt me so much that the next morning I could not even go to the toilet. The old man gave me some medicine but that just made my stomach upset and I kept running to the toilet. I thought that Usman and Akboo would let me sleep in peace that night, but they wanted me again. I said leave me alone tonight. My stomach is troubling me. They would not listen and as Akboo started the pain became unbearable and my upset stomach let go. They both got so angry that they took me to the yard kicked me a few times and said tomorrow’s sunrise will be the last one I will see. After they were all asleep, I went washed a bit and was scared to enter the building but it was very cold outside. When I was passing by the old man’s room, I noticed the gate keys on the table. I slowly grabbed it with some other things including my bedding and ran through the front door locking the gate from outside.”
“Most children who ran away were always caught and given severe punishment. That is how Akboo’s partner also died. They always knew that the boys run towards the big city of Kabul Kabul Kabul
“How did you go to Kabul?”
“From the house I had taken enough bread and onions to feed me for a week. Plus, the rest from Usman and Akboo made me feel better. I did not leave till it was dark and then I started walking towards Kabul and hiding away from the road each time I saw any light approaching. The walking kept me warm and plus my shawl from my two old clothing also helped. During the day when it was warm, I took a nap usually in the bushes where I could not be seen. I was scared people would steal my belongings.”
“Since the time I left Baghlan, it took me six day before I reached Kabul very early in the morning. I knew that if I went toward the station or the square I would be caught sooner or later so I walked in the outskirts where there were beautiful houses as big as palaces for kings and queens. I have always known that I am a very lucky person so as I was walking, Hakim Seth came from behind me faster. Every morning he goes for a long walk. When he saw I was walking with my belongings in a bundle, he asked me where I was from. First I got scared and was about to run as fast as my legs could have taken me, but then he was much too big for me and I would not have had any chance to escape. So I said my father is old and ill and I we live in a village near Baghlan and I have come looking for work. He asked me if I had done gardening and I said just cleaning but I know how because I have seen my father plant trees in our village. He pointed to a house way behind us and asked me to wait by the gate till he returned. First, I thought it was a trick and he would somehow contact the old man at the house in Baghlan, but then I saw him enter a park and walk around in circles like a rooster. When he returned, he said if I cut the grass with some instrument I had never seen before. He must have noticed my blank look and from then on he taught me everything from cleaning his car to cutting flowers for his house. He was a good man. He fed me well. Gave me space in his garage to sleep which was warm even during the coldest nights and he allowed me four days off every month to visit my family.”
“How much did he pay you?”
“There was no regular salary, but he was a good man and gave me some money each time I was about to go on my leave. First time I refused because I had a place to sleep, clothes and food so what could I do with the money, but then I accepted because I did not want him to get suspicious that I had no family because if he reported me to the authorities they would have sent me back to the old man’s house.”
“So where did you go on your days off?”
“For three holidays I went nowhere but hid in the park where Hakin Seth would go for his morning walks. Usually before he arrived, I climbed and hid in a tree. I did not want to go toward Kabul station or square in case someone recognized me from my house in Baghlan. Then on one occasion I decided to go towards the mountains away from the Kabul and in the other direction of Baghlan. To my surprise, the mountain was not as secluded as I had thought and plus I did not like the looks of the people there so again several times I had to climb and hide in trees. On one occasion, I found a tree from which I could climb on to a cliff and soon I discovered that there was no other way for any man on foot to come. The cliff was wide and took me to great distances with beautiful scenery and there I found a cave which then became my home each time I told Hakim Seth that I was going to visit my family.”
“Is that the place where we found you?”
“Yes, besides me, the three charcoal like men and two milk like men we the first ones there.”
“Buddhu, you are the only one here at Guantanamo who does not eat meat. Generally, people from your region are all excessive meat eaters. Is there a reason?”
“The cave was the best home I could ever have wanted. See I told you, I am a very lucky person. There I played hitting one stone to another. In the night I looked for god. I sang inside my cave and the sound was different. Plus, I did a lot of thinking there wonder where I had come from and how I had landed up at the house in Baghlan. I thought maybe I was born as Adam without a mother or a father. But, at times it also got lonely out there and loneliness made me very sad. I always wished I had a brother who loved me as much as I loved him. Then one day a young goat came. He had one ear missing as if it was roughly torn off. At first he was scared and was about to run away but I made sounds in his language and he stopped and looked towards me. Slowly, by slowly he approached me and we talked and I called him my brother Akbar. I was so happy there with him that I never wanted to leave and I even extended that stay by a day.”
“After that he visited me each time I returned. On one visit as I was leaving to return to Hakim Seth’s place, I heard agonizing cries that sounded like Akbar. I ran towards the sound and saw these men holding him down with a knife to his neck and blood flowing in a river to the side. I cannot forget how his eyes were fixed on to me and I ran towards the man with the knife and pushed him away, but by then the others had a hold of me and I could see AKbar had ended his struggle but with eyes wide open still in my direction. I jerked out of the clutches of the men and ran as fast as I could though I did not know in which direction I was running or where as my vision was covered with tears. I think they attempted to chase me but again I found my refuge in a nearby tree. That night I did not have the heart to return to Hakim Seth’s house so when it was dark I returned towards the place where they had killed my brother and from a distance saw them feasting and laughing. That night I returned to my cave and cried and cried touching every spot of ground he laid his feet on. I sat all night next to his favorite spot where him and I talked and I sang songs to him. The next morning I went back to Hakin Seth’s house. The moment he saw me he knew something was seriously wrong and in an apologetic voice asked how my father was. I said my father was fine but those men in black clothes killed my little brother Akbar. He put his hand on my head and said we never thought it could get worse than with the Russians, but these Talibans are much worse. Since the day they killed Akbar, I have never wanted to eat meat.”
“When those American men found you, why did you have a set of binoculars? Were they given to you by someone to lookout for someone?”
“Oh, you mean the looking glass. When I was still living at the house in Baghlan, one night I saw the old man holding them towards his eyes looking towards the other building that housed girls. I asked him what this machine was that he was holding. At first he sounded irritated, but then he explained that he had got it from a soviet solder and if you looked towards the sea, past Pakistan, you could see god in the sky. The night I ran away from the place, all I took was his key, the looking glass – what you call it binoculars, some food and my shawl. I took the looking, I mean binoculars to look for god. In the night from my cave I tried to look and look but I guess the ocean is very far from the mountains near Kabul. But, every night I enjoyed looking at the sky from my cave and I would imagine travelling from one star to the next.”
“If we decide to return you to Kabul and guarantee you safety there is there anything else you wish from us?”
“Since I am so close to the ocean here, can I have my binoculars back so in the night through the bars I can search for God.”
With a clicking sound the tape ended.
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